Anzan
Death & dying
Entering unknown territory
No person can properly tell you how to die because no one knows all of what is, and what will be, true for you. All we can know for sure is that ultimately we will need to let go of everything in order to accomplish that one essential transition.
Sometimes this happens step by step, such as with a prolonged illness. Sometimes very suddenly, without time to process, leaving loved ones and relatives in a type of void.
Saying goodbye is a complex multi-layered process. If you are seeking support, for your own farewell, or as a surviving relative, I would be pleased and honored to walk with you for a while.
Grief & mourning
From physical absence to
symbolic presence
Funeral
Mourning is a type of quest. We transit through sadness and disbelief, and perhaps through anger as well. A void presents itself: will you fill it to alleviate the discomfort or can you find the courage to stay present with it?
Loss is not only linked to death, and not only to people. Grief presents itself in illnesses such as dementia, addictions, divorces or the loss of (domestic) animals. We search for a new balance between past and future, between what was and what can yet be.
To have a fellow human being next to you in your mourning, who sails with you through the turbulent waters, is of inestimable value. Someone who allows you to grieve, who can embrace what presents itself and knows how to be what you need in that moment.
If you and your family are in need of spiritual care after the loss of a loved one, please let me know. We may travel together for a while.
The funeral as a portal
A funeral is an important marker in time. We can think of it as a door, a portal. It is the moment when our lives in physical bodies say farewell to one other. It is the moment a boat pushes off from the familiar bank and begins the journey up an invisible river, into unknowable realms. The surviving relatives and community remain behind on the shoreline.
I am here to support you and your family in designing a personal farewell ceremony. Bring your memories and together we will write texts that are honoring and appropriate. If it is your wish, I am also available to officiate the ceremony, lead a funerary ritual, or provide musical support.
The lonely funeral
Everyone deserves to be accompanied until the end. Based on that vision, I also guide deceased people whose funeral is lonely. Do you know of someone who has passed away away alone? Please contact me.
Complex themes
Euthanasia, abortion, or the discontinuation of life-prolonging treatments are deeply complex and ethical considerations that require inner clarity. How do you come to a decision that is right? Does 'correct' even exist? We can look at these topics together. We can calmly explore how you think and what you feel about them to help create greater clarity.
End-of-life story
Every person has a story
As the end approaches, all sorts of things rush through one’s mind. What else do you want to say? What else do you want to pass on? There are certain stories that belong to the ending. If you wish, you can share them with me and I will write them down. Together we will make a book containing stories & personal photos to leave as a valuable and tangible memory for your relatives.
®2023
